Work is going through a takeover, at the the moment so HR asked about any medical conditions they need to know about so I told them about my head goblins, anxiety and depression, to which they chuckled. I respond, “I’m glad you find it funny, because the only reason I joke about My mental health is because deep down I’m terrified that one day it’ll beat me. It gives me some measure of control. But you doing so make me think you don’t take mental health issues seriously” cue stunned silence and stumbling from HR.**
You could call it my Spider-Man method of coping
**So far I’m still employed and have been told that if I need anything to let them know.**
**If this comes across as attention seeking it’s not, I felt like sharing. That is all**
It’s Mental Health Awareness week and I’ve been meaning to type this for a long time. I have anxiety and depression issues. Some of you probably already know this, since I call them “head goblins” on twitter.
What you more than likely don’t know is that, quite often I think about opening my wrists and calling it quits. I’ve been like this for at least the last 20 years. It’s become a reflex of sorts, thankfully I haven’t carried it through but the idea lurks there in the back of my mind. Yes medication is an option and I want to keep it an option for as long as possible. I prefer Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) it’s a more logic based approach that works for me.
“But things can’t be that bad” I hear you say. They’re not. For myself I’ve got a loving and supportive partner who helps me in more ways than she’ll know, a real life family that while maybe don’t understand they accept it, several online families (more on them later) a decent job that let’s me do pretty much my own thing.
I’ve developed coping mechanisms, admittedly not always healthy ones. If you follow me on any of the other platforms you’ll know I draw/paint. A lot. This is my primary coping method. It gives me a sense of control and my mind time to not focus or wander just to “be” I guess. It doesn’t make sense really but it helps.
My second coping method involves a lot, and I do mean a lot, of people. They are my online families of SciFiHour, the Post Apocalyptic Tribe peoples and the Twircle. Without them I probably wouldn’t be writing this. We might be scattered across the globe but in some cases I’m closer to these user names than my flesh and blood family. Their patience and willingness to listen has helped me countless times (even if they don’t know it) and will be given back should they need it from me.
I think I’ve gone on long enough, the “goblins” are sleeping and the need to be creative is strong.
TL/DR I’m a little bit “crazy” but I’m still here. Look after yourself and each other.
So it’s January 1st again and all across the social media I see “New Year, New Me” well honestly that’s not likely to happen, but I will say I’ll try to post more often, even if it’s just a work in progress picture.
Recently a colleague of mine bought a DC Raven statue and wasn’t overly impressed with the paint job…
So they asked me to repaint it. *Shocked expression* anyway after a quick bath in paint stripper, she looked like this
Several layers of Necron Abyss, Druchii share and Rackarth Flesh mixed with white for the skin and she’s done.
***Things I learned***
- The flash killed the colours.
- Make sure everything is painted (there’s a slight mispaint that I only spotted after it was given back).
- Get clear instructions off the owner.
- Keep them updated with progress but don’t swamp them.
Do not be alarmed. Yes it’s a long, long overdue post from me ( real life, blah, blah, blah).
Recently Games Workshop released some new technical paints specifically for gemstones,
- Soulstone Blue
- Waystone Green
- Spiritstone Red
- Stormhost Silver
so I thought I’d give them a try. Now I don’t have many minis that have gems on them, so I used some Space Marine shoulder pads…
I started with an even layer of silver over a black undercoat
then I went straight in with the gem paints
they’re a little thicker than the Tamiya clears I’m used to, and not really suited to shoulder pads, but the coverage is good. they look a little streaky to my eyes but with some practice I’ll be able to get a more even coat. Again the Shoulder pads are not the intended use here but they’d be great on Rank and File Eldar or Elves and Eye lenses on helmets. I personally wouldn’t use them on centre piece minis, but I want to see if my other half will let me test them out on one of her Elves.
All in all, if you want gems done fast these will do the job. I’m going to try them through the airbrush later and update things here.
That’s all for now, back to the workshop
Me being me I tried layering one over the other… it sort of worked
a little more experimentation is needed.
Here’s a work in progress of @ElizabethNeale‘s Skyrim Character “Punchy” with Wonder Woman. I used some stock poses for composition then added details by hand. I’ll scan it back into Photoshop to refine it then colour. I used stock poses because I’m not great at figure drawing, I need more practice. Next up on this is to add a background, I’m thinking a Gothic arched window and creeping vines.
As the title says, “I ain’t dead”, I’m slowly coming back to the blog with actual content this time not just BS ramblings . Back soon.
Owing to some personal stuff I’m putting Brush 4 Brush on hiatus until the new year at least. Don’t worry it’ll be back with new and hopefully regular content.
Mark aka mr_badmek